She jerks awake and looks around wildly trying to figure out where she is. When her bleary eyes pick out the familiar features of her house, her body starts relaxing. The lumpy little couch that her cat loves to curl up in, the tiny rice lights that twinkle innocently against the misty glass and the little porcelain pixie dangling from the overhead light. She relaxes and places her hand on her tummy bump.
It seemed to have grown in the past couple of days. All she feels when she looks at it is a deep fear and clawing regret. Fear and regret for all that had happened. All that was going to happen. 6 months down and a couple more to go. At least that’s what the doc said. Strangely, when the news had come in, she wasn’t really surprised. Just hurt. After every precaution she had taken, she was still bearing the burden of her mother’s legacy. Just as she had borne her mother’s before her and so on. It was a family thing and now it had come around to her.
Slowly, slowly she had felt the energy draining out of her as her bump grew bigger. It took up more space. Small things like getting a glass of water seemed like herculean tasks to her. So much so that she would wait till her throat was parched like she had eaten sand paper and then drag herself to the kitchenette. When she had told her friends and family, they had all asked her to get rid of it immediately. She herself had considered it. Why would anyone want to go through all that trauma and pain? She had told the doc to get rid of it. That she didn’t want it or any part of it. Not now. Not ever. The doc had told her it’s too late. Taking it out wasn’t an option anymore and she would just have to deal with it. ‘I can give you some mild meds to make the discomfort go away but that’s all I can do for you’ he had said.
And now, 6 months later, the supportive visits accompanied by broths, bouquets and the occasional wine were still going on. She sighed and allowed herself to drift off. Back to that fateful day when the doc had come back to her and said, ‘I am sorry. Really sorry but it’s the stomach cancer. I can give you some mild meds to make the discomfort go away but that’s all I can do for you.’